Today is a good day!

It’s been quite some time since I have blogged, but not a lot has happened over the past couple months. After the death of my Grandfather and immersing myself into the big quilt project, I found myself rather exhausted and holding in my grief. I decided to take a break from big sewing projects and blogging and just try to relax. Hah! Me relaxing. Funny! It didn’t work.

I have been working on a couple small projects though. I have almost FMQ’d my quilt and I have been making a kitty couch for my mom’s cat Buster. He is a Maine Coon weighing 25ish pounds and approximately 42″ long. He needs his own couch! I have also wanted to make my Grandmother a memory quilt with photos of her and my Grandfather, but I have realized that although I may want to make it, I am not ready to make it. Just writing this makes my eyes fill with tears.

Work is work and I am finally realizing with the help of a great friend Donna W. that there are things that I cannot change no matter what. She has helped give me tools and tips to make my days more productive, organized and less stressful for me and how to not stress over things that are not my responsibility. Heck, accounting duties are a full-time job in itself so why freak out about everything else?

I want to thank my friends over at BEEGRAZIANI and Wedding Dress Blue for emailing me to find out where I have been and for keeping me in their thoughts over the past little while. And my friends at Huckabee’s Place–you know who you are! And not to forget my Mom and Dad. Even from a distance they are always by my side. And last, but not least, the MR. My hubby. You are my rock. Thank you for just being there. I love you!

I have always been the strong on the outside and bottle it up on the inside kind of person. Who knew it would lead to feelings of exhaustion! I have been going to bed earlier. I try to make it to the gym but that doesn’t always happen! And I practice yoga breathing multiple times a day. Admitting I can’t always be the strong one has been hard for me and I still struggle with it. I am like my mother that way who is also like her mother. I come by it honestly. I am not Catholic, nor do I practice religion although I do have my beliefs and respect those beliefs of others, but I am participating in my own kind of Lent this year. I am giving up my “I am strong and suffer in silence” ways and I will ask for help. I will admit when I am defeated. I will openly feel emotions. I will grieve.

My goal for the next 39 days is to document how I feel in my blogs. They might be long-winded. They might be short. They will be my emotions at the time of writing. They may also include sewing projects.

Today is a good day. I went for 2 walks, did not need a nap to make it through the day and I have cried. I feel happy and am surrounded by love and my sewing machine is calling me and so is a piece of chocolate cake!

Day # 1 of 39


1 Comment

Filed under General Ramblings, My 39 days of feeling

One response to “Today is a good day!

  1. Bee

    Awww…Kristal…you really know how to make a friend feel good! Thank you so much for referencing me in your post. You are too kind!
    I am so happy to see you expressing your thoughts. Grief and sadness tend to snowball if not recognized and acknowledged. You are on the right track, my friend. Just don’t be too hard on yourself 😉
    love, Bee
    p.s. mind sharing the chocolate cake?!!

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